Cookie Monster Shaves his Legs...

...for the right muppet.

Alexa Vaughn. 54. New York, NY

This is Alexa. She is the musical director for a children's theatre in New York City. She stands while she plays the piano, and has a high soprano singing voice with a very slow and deliberate vibrato.

Alexa Vaughn says things like, "I'm grateful and humbled to be on this artistic journey with you." She once told a 9 year old actress that she would be a more entertaining singer if her figure was "more pleasing". Alexa then winked sweetly and patted her knee.

She has a Border Collie named Zacharia that she won in a divorce settlement from her first and only husband, Keith. She never pets Zacharia because she's afraid of getting her fingers dirty, but she will occasionally sing for him.

When she sings Zacharia hides under the couch. The sound reminds him of the time his mother was hit by a train car when he was just a pup. Zacharia has nightmares, and worries that losing his mother at such a young age is the cause of his homosexuality and inability to commit.

Alexa likes the smell of steamed broccoli and has it almost every night for dinner. Alone. Always alone.

Women who are probably named Linda.

Example #1. This is Linda of the "Connecticut Linda's". She wears carmex and drives an aqua Taurus. She always has kleenex in her purse, but they're usually warm, slightly crumpled and semi questionable. She probably goes sailing once a year.

Example #2. "Older Linda" who was once "Sporty Linda". She still does things to "keep active". Low level sports, like golf or occasionally tennis. She always brings potato salad to the party (the kind made with mustard, not mayo).


Example #3. In this photo, you'll find Linda on the left. This is "mid-western Linda". She is one of your grandmother's friend's from high school. She is now the secretary there. She wears sweat shirts that say "Go Tigers" on game day with a matching turtle neck underneath. She is sitting by Dorothy.

Tongue

At least once a month I have a dream that I am eating my own tongue. Its not gross, because I literally have it on a plate in front of me and I use a fork and steak knife to cut it up. And whomever I am dining with does not find this odd at all. 

Typical Friday for a one Miss Jenn Dodd...

...as she snuck up on the sleeping MTA attendant, to rip him from his peaceful slumber, she paused and thought of the dreams he may be having; a dream of his true love? His childrens future? Or quite possibly his own? Perhaps he was dreaming of a song which he would later write. This song would be the most poignant and eye opening song ever penned. It would speak to his generation about tolerance in a way that would bring the whole world together in a beautiful, universal hug and demolish hate for all eternity..."Fuck it."
photo by Mike Reardon

Loretta. A risky woman with a whiskey past.

Its Jennifer- The blonde

I am Jennifer, the blonde one.  I debated getting veneers and then realized my teeth are cute and clean as is. I love pasta and running, but sometimes when I run I associate the rapid beating of my heart to a panic attack I had when I was 23 and stoned. Then I stop and walk very slow, while looking at people to get my mind off of it. I chew the inside of my cheek, and when I was a smoker, I thought that the chemicals would seep into the little fresh wounds and I would most definitely have cancer of the cheek or mouth. (www.jenniferbartelsonline.com)

Intro-dodd-tions...

I would like to start by personally introducing myself. I'm half of this blog; the "red" half. I am Jenn Dodd. This is me:

I like crunchy food. I am not as perky as I look. I do not like steak or people who act like they are entitled to things because they are rich or good looking or a man. Steve Martin is my idol. I like beer, but never drink it because I am afraid of being fat. I used to be very fat, and now I'm not. I was briefly anorexic, but now I'm not. I do not blame this on society or the media. I blame this on myself because I ate a ton of food.

Below is a list of my favorite foods while I was anorexic:
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